Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Weight of Glory

Plain old weeds take on a ravishing beauty,
impossible without the brilliant weight
that glistens on their bent backs.

It isn’t Christmas day.  It isn’t just any old day.  It feels like Christmas has finally been born inside of me.  There is an opening, expanding, light exploding in my dark well.

On our morning walk today we see cold that hangs, frost that bites and looks like tiny thorns.  Zach runs and I notice his beauty, this burdened one, who walks with thorns of glory every day.  My son, with no choice runs through life with Light shining forth.  He shown with God’s glory before the weight... and now... after and I am humbled.

My insides come alive with the thoughts of Higher Than I.  “Nature bends under the weight of My glory.  Isn’t it beautiful?  This is how I see you as you bear the frosty weight of My Glory.  Beautiful.  I sing, hover over you with joy and light.”

Zach plays anny-anny-over the goat barn, Web and I catch.  Ahhhhh, I say.  I see.  Breath leaves me.  A cloud of light hovers in front of me.  If I will bend, bow to Your hand taking what my Enemy meant for evil, you will transform it into glistening light, then Glory has done its job?  If I choose to hide in the dark; anger, bitterness, depression and fear then the glory is hidden under that bucket of darkness?  Yes?  Will I shine?

A tree flocked by God’s hand.  Glory!
He echo’s my yes and says amen and I realize that I hear Him more often now.  I am fuller.  Full of Light, full of Joy.  I am quieter, I am asking for Light to come in, the Three In One to impregnate me with fullness of Light and I want Him to be full of me.  To birth the kingdom here on earth.  To be inside of this Hugeness, of this Light is to always walk in truth.  Yes.  I want to hide inside of The Happy Three; to be lit with Light, and remember this season of His earthly birth, that by never allowing my Glow to be covered by darkness I am one little candle in His world lit by Glory and I warm the hearth of Heaven.  I have the ability to make Light smile. *smile*

Joy to the world comes through little old me, little old you.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011



Sometimes it’s not kind to make someone who has autism be a part of something big and loud because you want them there.  We struggled through this one as a family.  It was big time hard for mama.  I cried saying goodbye to Zach, I dripped snot driving down interstate 5 and warbled out my heart felt sadness to my eldest daughter Hannah who gave me one ear as she sat in the passenger’s seat, sympathetic, while tuning the other to my four grandchildren ages six and under strapped into the back seat of the Montero.

We all wanted Zach at our family vacation (the first one he wouldn't attend).  We also fought the family wholeness at his sisters Wedding, which Zach wouldn't celebrate with us.  But it just wasn’t best for our Zach angel.  We keep dragging the poor guy to our cabin at 7,000 feet in elevation and in all of his 20 years, he’s probably enjoyed three, now four…we took him up for some fresh air recently and he enjoyed it, but that’s for another story (never say never; try try again).  This year during our family vacation Zach would be home in his comfortable home with a competent respite care giver, playing and sleeping in his deeply entrenched routine.  In the end, the MOB needed this.  I had much to focus on.  Four littles running around a deep northern California lake and a wedding to navigate, though half of my heart and mind remained in Southern Oregon.  I’m sure my family noticed. I was slightly vacant at times and they kept offering me glasses of wine, which I refused knowing that MOB dress wasn’t made of stretch material.

We used the finest feng shui artist alive today, God.  We also used the talent and creative spirit He dispersed to us, which we then coupled with His creation and here is what we came up with…

Beautiful sky, smooth water, perfect day…

A few days to soak up some sun and fun before the big day…our annual family vacation.  We’ve packed up our children and driven them three hours to our family cabin for twenty-seven years.
Hannah and Steven’s 8th Anniversary the
9th of August.
Game time!

A peaceful place...

Bride and groom going for our customary
morning mocha boat ride.

Morning silliness

Julie surf boarding with daddy
The bride de’stressing on a wake board;
hours before the wedding.

The calm before the celebration…


Sister of the bride and the official ring barer

Rachel’s childhood bestie and
our wedding singer
 (and a darn good one at that, check our her new EP, itunes Zoechild)

The maid of honor and Rachel’s YWAM buddy

The bride’s arrival in a golf cart, driven by
the father of the bride

Here Comes The Bride…and a three-year-old feather girl!

The groom sees his bride...
What a setting!
The parents prayer (with Julie Joy)

Original songs by Zoechild and Matt Zigines…Beautiful!

First Dance

Father Daughter Dance
 We didn’t sink it and nobody fell in!

Mother Daughter Dance :)
The bride has a crush on the ring barer!


Salad, mushrooms, bacon wrapped dates….Mmmmmm

The beverage table
The wedding mascot-vingage tandem

Enter, best man and the groomsman

One of the the food tables
luscious half-moon fruit pies, by Pennington Farms

The cutting of the “apple pie” (thanks Pennington Farms)

Time To Go

Home two days after the wedding.  The family is all together in one place.
Mama loves it when this happens!
(Zach really didn’t want his picture taken)